i think i love you.

or did i love you?

do i still love you?

well, heres a fact..

everytime i remember one of the little,

nice moments we had,

my heart would sink.

because, really..

it makes me sad to know we had that much,

but things just didnt turn out right.

i still feel, i've never felt for anyone like i did for you.

and that is why i'm unwilling to let go.

because i don't know when i'll feel this way again.

not swinging around like some branch that gets pushed by the wind.

but having someone you really love.

I think Cupid probably shot me with his stupid arrow,

cause i don't think i ever imagined myself saying the things i do now.

about the guy i fell for.

i love your voice, haha.

although i hate that i have to love it from afar.

my mood changes for just that little amount of time when you're in the same room i'm in.

i become happy. for just that little while.

i have nothing to say to you, even though i wish i could talk like there was no tomorrow.

then we go our seperate ways,

and i start to wish i could be with you..

but its like wanting what you can't have.

its never going to happen, i think i know.

but i can't stop myself from liking you.

i remember those times we had.

it makes me sad to know we had those, yet everything turned out the way it did.

"so i act cool, on the outside, but its eating me alive.

cause when it comes to you, theres nothing i can do, i can't make you love me when you don't.

I see it in your eyes, all the compromise, i can't take another slow goodbye."

lol i ended up not using this blog as much as i wanted to.

so i'll just make this the blog where i say things i dont put on my main blog.

who'll read this anyway? besides ppl like u, hor joycepoon? heh.

but just so i dont defeat the purpose of having a supposed 'english improvement blog',

i'll still use proper english. ^^

i think my heart is sick.

wish i could cry it out. my heart hurts a lot sometimes when i cry.

i like that pain.

but tears don't come for me that way.

i can't just cry when i want to.

to cry for the loss of that someone i never felt such feelings for,

to cry because i have so much to do to live up to the expectation i have of myself,

to cry because sometimes i feel like such a bitch and i wana curl up in a ball and hide away alone in one dark corner so i wont have to face people agian.

for the people who read this, dont tell me to cheer up, cuz on the outside i really am cheered up. i'm very happy that God's blessed me with such a cheerful attitude to things. you'll never catch me not smiling for a whole day.

dont tell me to move on, its getting irritating cuz i am moving on. things like that dont just happen overnight.

dont tell me that i'll get over it, and not to worry. i know that already.

don't tell me to forget about him. i don't want to.

just let me feel the way i'm feeling, because i've never felt for someone like this before, and i don't think i will be for a while.

gosh i've become such an emo. sigh.

okay but i'm really quite stressed cuz i always fall asleep in class and i miss out in lessons, so like, sometimes chunks of info's missing in my brain and i cant understand some of the work i have to do. argh! someone invent some pill to keep a person wide awake!